Colageo: Fantasy Face-Off between Former, Current Boston Bruins

How exactly would the Boston Bruins fare against a team of former selves now playing for other teams in the National or American Hockey League? You will be the judge of that when you see the results of this little exercise below.

Since it’s so much fun second-guessing Boston Bruins General Manager Don Sweeney, the ultimate second-guessing exercise while we wait for the last shoe of the summer to drop would be to arrange two teams, an Eastern Conference squad and a Western Conference squad, of former Bruins currently playing in the NHL or AHL.

First, we need to establish some ground rules, and we’ll use New York Rangers defenseman Ryan Lindgren as the primary example. For the purposes of this unabashedly recreational exercise, we will consider Lindgren eligible.

Although Lindgren never played a regular-season or playoff game for the Boston Bruins, nor did he sign a contract with the Bruins, he was chosen in the 2016 NHL entry draft by the Bruins. Two years later while Lindgren was in his second year at the University of Minnesota, Sweeney traded his rights to the New York Rangers as part of the compensatory package in the 2018 deadline deal for Rick Nash.

In that regard, Lindgren was property of the Boston Bruins and therefore can be included on the Eastern Conference team of former Bruins. Had the Bruins dealt New York the draft pick and the Rangers used it to select said player, then said player would not be eligible for consideration in forming an all-former-Bruins team.

On the opposite end of the career spectrum, Blake Wheeler, an aging warhorse who broke in with the Boston Bruins but is banged up and considering retirement, is not under contract and therefore shall be considered ineligible for this exercise. RFA’s who have been qualified by their NHL teams remain eligible for consideration.

I started out thinking this would be one team of ex-Bruins, but the imbalance of depth at different forward positions (lots of left wingers) got me thinking it might be a fun, fact-finding mission to discover how many ex-Bruins (and which ones) are populating Eastern Conference rosters as opposed to Western Conference rosters for the 2024-25 season.

To no surprise, most ex-Bruins who would be impactful on the 2024-25 Boston Bruins were let go for salary-cap reasons. Some were cases of arrested development, young players whose careers needed a swift kick in the hockey pants.

I hereby present the 2024-25 All-Conference Former Bruins (by position in alphabetical order).

EASTERN CONFERENCE

Forwards (10): Noel Acciari, Anton Blidh, Jesper Boqvist, A.J. Greer, Eric Haula, Sean Kuraly, Curtis Lazar, Riley Nash, Tomas Nosek, and Reilly Smith.

Defensemen (5): Matt Grzelcyk, Dougie Hamilton, Ryan Lindgren, Dmitry Orlov, and Mike Reilly.

Goaltender (1): Linus Ullmark.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

Forwards (14): Jake DeBrusk, Tyler Bertuzzi, Ryan Donato, Nick Foligno, Brendan Gaunce, Taylor Hall, Danton Heinen, Cameron Hughes, Jakub Lauko, Pat Maroon, Tyler Seguin, Craig Smith, Jack Studnicka, and Frank Vatrano.

Defensemen (6): Jack Ahcan, Derek Forbert, Torey Krug, Jeremy Lauzon, Colin Miller, and Urho Vaakanainen.

Goaltender (1): Dan Vladar.

The East has it all over the West on the blue line and in net, but the West can put the biscuit in the basket. This would make for an interesting playoff series, but neither squad by itself is formidable against the playoff crust of NHL competition.

If we combine these groups into one team of former Boston Bruins, the resultant squad still lacks an elite centerman and probably goes to the final month of the regular season bouncing on the playoff bubble.

The most important fact: Assuming Jeremy Swayman signs, there is barely a trace of regret on these lists. The fan in me is still mad about exposing Lauzon to Seattle in the expansion draft, especially as the Boston Bruins have gotten pushed off the puck during the 2022, ’23 and ’24 playoffs. But the version of the Bruins we are about to see should erase even those memories.

17,648,194: The number of U.S. dollars the Detroit Red Wings are under the 2024-25 salary cap while still needing to sign two, significant, restricted free agents, defenseman Moritz Seider and winger Lucas Raymond.

Is a major upgrade in net the answer for the meandering Red Wings? They’ve been thorns in Boston’s side but otherwise so-so in missing the playoffs for eight straight years running. They haven’t won a playoff series since 2013.

When they went into the 1990-91 season with several goalies including Alain Chevrier and Tim Cheveldae, the joke was that “Detroit has two Chevys and neither will start.” Cheveldae actually led Detroit with 65 appearances that year, but it wasn’t until 1997 and Mike Vernon that Detroit hosted its first of four Stanley Cup parades since Gordie Howe was a young lion.

Their Nick Lidstrom era long gone, the rebuilt Red Wings look to be a threat to upset the Atlantic Division applecart but instead have faded in the crunch and drafted in the pack following playoff DNQ’s.

After a very solid 2021-22 season in St. Louis (38-25-7, 2.56 GAA, .919 SP), 29-year-old goalie Ville Husso (acquired from the Blues for a third-round pick) has posted two subpar seasons for the Red Wings, both campaigns allowing above 3 goals per game and below .900 in save percentage.

Perhaps Steve Yzerman is old school enough to be the GM least likely to make Brian Burke’s ears smoke with an offer sheet, but what if his reality sets in that the Red Wings are Jeremy Swayman away from the playoffs?

It must be hard for Yzerman to look at Swayman and not see his new Andrei Vasilevskiy, the missing link in changing the trajectory of a hockey club otherwise stuck at the border patrol to Stanley Cup contention.

A big-three defense needs the right goalie: Montreal was dynastic with Ken Dryden, New Jersey quasi-dynastic with Martin Brodeur. Only in the salary-cap era has a team predicated on a dominant defense (Chicago) won multiple championships with B-list goalies (Antti Niemi in 2010 and Corey Crawford in 2013 and ’15).

Yzerman still has work to do in building the Red Wing(er)s, as Seider and Dylan Larkin (center) are his only elite players down the middle of the rink. The rest of Detroit’s top-end talent is on the wings. He needs a game changer, and he has the cap space to do much more than sign Seider and Raymond.

After competing Sunday morning in a triathlon in Southie, Swayman told Boston Hockey Now he remains committed to the Bruins and remains fully confident that things will work out for him to stay in Boston and be the guy as an improved Bruins squad prepares for its own return to Cup contention.

50: number of days before the Boston Bruins try to spoil opening night for the Florida Panthers, who raise their first Stanley Cup banner on Tuesday, October 8.