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Casting The Boston Bruins For Game Of Thrones

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This will not be the proudest moment of my life. There will never be a far off day when I tell my children about the day I once sat down and wrote about a dragon show for a hockey site. Sometimes there are too many days off between games, and this is what happens. And what’s about to happen?

Let’s compare some Boston Bruins players to Game of Thrones characters. (There are spoilers)

Zdeno Chara

Chara would be cast as the Hound. The Hound is often misunderstood as his terrifying frame casts a long shadow on his soft heart. The Hound was a fugitive who found some light in protecting a young Arya Stark (and yes was his driven by a burning desire to kill his brother). His superhuman brother only bettered his immense strength in an epic battle, and while he may be scary to gaze upon, you would certainly want him on your side. Other characters to consider: Brienne of Tarth.

Patrice Bergeron

Bergeron would be cast as Jon Snow. Jon Snow is a reluctant but noble leader and does not blink in the face of impossible of odds. If Jon Snow were in the NHL he’d easily win some Selke and Clancy trophies. Bergeron is the captain of the Bruins in everything but name only. Bergeron wears the “A” for Boston, and I can imagine Jon Snow’s melancholy voice whispering “I don’t want it” upon being asked by his teammates to wear the “C” as the true leader of his squad. Other characters to consider: Ned Stark.

Brad Marchand

This one is easy. Marchand would be Tyrion. Tyrion’s quick tongue can get him to trouble, even with the people who love him, but he is arguably the most critical person in the seven kingdoms. Where would the world be with Tyrion Lannister pulling strings behind the scenes? Where would the Boston Bruins be without Marchand playing mind games with the opposition while having the capital to back it up with actual productivity. Other characters: Ramsay Bolton. 

David Pastrnak 

Pastrnak would certainly be Arya. Boston’s sniper was dormant to start this postseason but exploded with a huge Game 4 of the Eastern Conference Final to help punch Boston’s ticket to a Stanley Cup Final berth. Arya took an extended leave while training with the Faceless Man to become a stone cold killer. From out of nowhere, she appeared and destroyed the Night King and saved the world from certain annihilation. Pastrnak should start to call his stick “the needle” in honor of Arya.

 

 

Tuukka Rask 

Can Rask be anyone but Hodor? Hodor literally carried Bran Stark on his back and kept an army of the undead at bay by “holding the door.” Rask has put this Bruins team on his back during one of the best goaltending runs Boston has ever seen.

 

Charlie McAvoy

McAvoy would be Sansa. Right now McAvoy has to take the knee to the current leaders on this Bruins team but someday could rule this northeast kingdom. While Sansa often deferred to Jon Snow, there was always a sense she could have easily been the leader on her own. It would not be a surprise to see a seasoned McAvoy skating around with the “C” on the Garden ice.

David Krejci

Krejci would be cast as Grey Worm. We don’t often hear from David Krejci. Marchand, Bergeron, Chara, Cassidy usually dominate the postgame quotes (and rightly so). But standing firm and always ready to go is Krecji — he played in 81 games this season and has tallied 14 points in 17 playoff games. Krecji is always out there quietly executing the orders of Lord Cassidy.

David Backes

David Backes would be Theon Greyjoy (sorry David). Theon disappeared but came back to play a huge role in defeating the Night King. Backes was scratched for the first game of the playoffs but has since played a role in getting Boston to the Cup Final. If Theon were in the NHL I could imagine him channeling Backes with the following statement: “When you’re out, it’s kind of like a psychology experiment. What are you going to do with your brain? Are you going to let it go wild and have a pity party for yourself, or are you going to prepare for the next opportunity that you get, capitalize on it and make the most of it and make it tough on them to take you back out of the lineup?”

Bruce Cassidy 

Cassidy would be Bran Stark (no one on this team entirely lives up to a Cersei or a Daenerys). Bran can set up the chess board as he sees fit and so far this postseason Cassidy has seemed to make all of the right decisions. Additionally, Rask (Hodor) has made Cassidy’s job much easier with a “get on my back” performance through the first three rounds of the playoffs.

 

Joakim Nordstrom 

Let’s face it. Joakim Nordstrom should have just played himself in Game of Thrones. Look at him. He looks like he’s fresh off the factory belt to be a soldier in the Lannister Army. Nordstrom puts in the work and has been a key cog on Boston’s influential fourth line.

 

 

Danton Heinen

I’d give the role of Jamie Lannister to Danton Heinen. In Game of Thrones, the Kingslayer hovers back and forth between good and evil and is comfortable on the front lines or taking a back seat to Brienne. In February Heinen went from being a scratch to seamlessly skating on Boston’s top line. Championship caliber teams need players with versatility and Heinen brings them that in spades.

We’ll end the list there for now. Let me know where I missed the mark in the comments section below!

 

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